Skin deep: My interview with KirstyTV and the surgery I had because of it

It's been a few weeks since watching my interview with Kirsty Spraggon of KirstyTV. I've had some time to adjust to the reality of how I look on video (it's much different from what we see in the mirror - have you noticed?). But here's my initial reaction:

Me: Holy shit. I'm getting that fat under my chin sucked out immediately.Kirsty: Don't be silly, you are beautiful.Me: Thanks, but I've had this extra fat under my chin - even when I was little.Kirsty: Well, I support you with whatever decision you make, but think you're beautiful just as you are.Me: Thanks. But I'm doing it.

It's silly, I know - with all the surgeries on my skin (I've had nine total) to help with the scarring on my face (from Stage IV Acne Vulgaris), to obsess about some excess fat under my chin. But that's what I saw. And that's what I had sucked out about a month ago.I'm very proud of my interview with Kirsty (pronounced "thirsty") - and not ashamed at all to share what my initial reaction was. But it brings up an interesting point about "beauty."As adults (and parents, for some of us), we want to instil the values in ourselves and children that beauty comes from within - that a beautiful heart will shine through, and each one of us is a work of art. But does this mean we can't (or shouldn't) do our best to look and feel our most beautiful?Here's me, day one after my chin lipo surgery (on my way to work!):And here I am last week getting dolled up for a night out:I'm still a bit swollen, but so happy with my results.Do I think I'm a Supermodel now? Nope. Did this little procedure change my issues about feeling beautiful? A little. Because I took care of something that has bothered me my entire life. And it feels good.It's why we get our hair done, go to the nail salon, hit up the treadmil and (try to) eat healthy. To look good is to feel good - to feel good (not to mention be a good person) is to exude a type of beauty you can't describe, because it comes from your heart.Look it - feel it. Feel it - look it. It's a catch-beauty-two.Now that the superficial and shallow stuff is out of the way - let's get to the interview.It was an emotional day, and still hard for me to wrap my head around my story, but I'm so grateful to Kirsty for giving me a *voice.Still want to see it? I was hoping you would.

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[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSxNrbr36Ug?rel=0&w=560&h=315]*If you or anyone you know has been effected by abuse, please reach out to RAINN (1-800-656-HOPE).If you want to reach out to me - you can do that too. You are never alone.